Change

I haven’t had much time for wondering the ways of the world or pondering deep thoughts of life lately, I haven’t really had much more time than needed to get things done, have a quick shower and fall asleep when I hit the pillow. However, I am headed to Branson with my parents. I have shaved legs for the first time in weeks and for the first time in too long I’m not running through multiple to-do lists.

Instead, I’m wondering. It feels good to take a time-out and travel back through the years. Sitting in the backseat of my dad’s truck it’s as if I’m 16 again. My headphones are blaring music while I stare out the window wondering what the stories are of the passengers in passing cars. I love how some things never change, like stopping in Lowery City to eat at Shelby’s. There is comfort in the regularity of my mom critiquing my father’s driving. I love knowing that there are things I can count on and people I can depend on.

However, there are the moments that make me realize I shouldn’t be taking this time for granite. It’s been a year since we’ve been to Branson. Last time we were here Lexi had just gotten engaged, we went to a palm reader, and I have never even talked to Brett besides mere passing remarks. Look where a year takes you. I’m finishing my last 16 weeks of college, I’m engaged to the man of my dreams, and sadly things keep changing.

Change has always scared me a bit. Maybe it’s knowing that time is flying by with the speed dial just out of reach so that you can’t slow it down. Sometimes it takes me a few weeks, months even to realize how much time has passed. It seems like just yesterday I had braces, I was moving in with Ashley Pfeil, I was in Germany, where have all of these moments gone; where do the treasured times lay at rest?

Even though change is scary, sometimes it is exciting and well worth the tradeoff of routine. The change of gaining a father that always talks on the phone while driving, the change of missing your other half for the week you are on vacation while you spent the first nine months of your relationship apart every week.

My dad showed me a picture one of his friends sent him. I asked him when it was taken. “1984”, he answered. “You were in your last year of college?” I asked. “I would have been done”, he said. He was my age. There he was smiling at twenty-three. Change. He’s no longer a fresh college graduate. But I’m willing to bet that he’s perfectly content with where time took him.

So, I may be sitting her listening to some of the same songs that I listened to six years ago, but I’m not 16 anymore. And you know what; I think I’m content with where time has taken me too.