To All The Past

I have been keeping everyone up to date on what is going on in my life such as subbing, Mock Interviews with Maryville, starting my early childhood practicum after this week, how I have my church, officiants, reception, caterer, photographer, and DJ booked and working on the cake, flowers, and dresses. However, I haven't had a very insightful post for awhile. Since the weather was absolutely beautiful today I got to thinking about life and decided I needed to write about more than just my day to day occurrences of family life, friends, and school.
Driving on 46 I caught a glance at my ring and had a few thoughts race through my mind. Mostly the fact that my life now revolves around not just myself but another human being. Never again will I be able to make a decision to just make myself happy, but I will have to also take into consideration my husband. While Brett and I were at a party I became very aware that life as I know was not about to change any time soon. Gone are the days of first glances, exchanged numbers, and first dates.
This made me wonder about the boys of the past, something I don't do often. It seems like everyone starts off by dating one of their friends, I was no exception. Luckily, this was a friend that is still dear to my heart and now like a brother. There is always the boy that broke up with you and however hard it is at first you later realize that you're so much better off without them. Then it seems like there is the boy that you break up with, and you wish it was different. Older or younger there are the many phases of boys that you go through to realize what you want. Like that guy that never wants to get married or have kids makes your appreciate the guy that is so great with children. There is that guy that wants to party all the time and you wish he would just grow up and appreciate a night in. Or the guy that doesn't party at all and makes you feel like a terrible wild person when you aren't. Especially the guy that you think could work out, but he just doesn't want to commit. You fool yourself thinking you can hang out, hold out, and change him, but in all reality you know that you'll let him go for someone who cares about you.
Summing all of this up in my mind I realized that each of these characters played a part in helping me understand what/who I wanted and aiding me in awareness that I needed Brett. No, I won't have any more first glances, exchanged numbers, or first dates. However, when I walk into a room and find my future husbands eye I smile and my heart races as if it's the first glance all over again.
So even though I'm not going to live my life thinking and doing only what I want to do I'm excited to life my life. I will have someone at my side through thick and thin, good times and bad, someone that will hold my hand, my heart, and my love forever.